excerpt from

The Grievous Little Book of Mis-Heard Words

 

by Travis Macdonald

 

 

 

 

renovate not enervate

curtain not certain

meant not mend

shirt not shirk

shit not sheet

elation not relation

sister not cistern

bauble not bubble

place not plays

aunts not ants

ass not ask

cuss not kiss

waives not wives

fat not flat

thin not then

spell not spill

pitcher not picture

felt not felled

face not phase

first not fist

poem not palm

salt not assault

bead not beat

wilt not welt

shuck not shook

hook not hulk

best not beast

fork not fuck

flashed not flaccid

uptight not appetite

erection not direction

each not itch

quiet not quite

sigh not sight

higher not ire

iron not ion

collating not colliding

practically not particularly

geranium not uranium

missives not missiles

lazier not laser

light not lied

ride not right

addition not edition

with not width

impasse not empath

breadth not breath

wreath not wrath

acts not axe

kilt not killed

subtraction not abstraction

host not hoist

bodice not bodies

shard not charred

awful not offal

tread not dread

will not well

berries not buries

dutch not ditch

cello not shallow

most not moist

much not mulch

sleep not slip

fit not feet

oscillate not ocelot

pounds not pounce

wish not whoosh

ounce not hounds

treat not treed

serif not sheriff

garden not guardian

rich not reach

trails not trials

order not odor

vision not version

beseeched not besieged

decrease not decrees

heard not hard

creatine not creating

please not pleas

bill not bilk

guild not geld

penned not pent

peach not preach

fleece not fleas

wards not warts

heat not eat

meet not meat

sorta not soda

wit not wheat

ascertain not aspartame

burp not blurb

calendar not colander

division not diversion

freed not fried

loosed not lucid

and not end . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Travis Macdonald is a poet, copywriter, editor, publisher and occasional essayist living in Philadelphia.  His most recent books include: Title Bout (Shadow Mountain Press 2011), BAR/koans (Erg Arts 2011), Hoop Cores (Knives, Forks and Spoons Press 2011), Sight & Sigh (Beard of Bees 2011), N7ostradamus (BlazeVox Books 2010), Basho’s Phonebook (E·ratio 2009) and The O Mission Repo [vol. 1] (Fact-Simile Editions 2008).