Issue 14 • 2011



Kosti’s Words


by Richard Kostelanetz





Anagroping—scrambled sexual foreplay, usually in darkness, unless participants are very drunk or stoned.

Boozo—a stupid drunk.

Confabulation—a deceptive story.

Currode—making a wolf disintergrate.

Dialectable—susceptible to a certain style of antithetical intellectual analysis.

Earnest—someone who takes a job to acquire enough money to purchase his own home.

Earsighted—someone who hears better than they see.

Elsewhen—another time.


Fiveplay—sexual foreplay taken to a higher level of stimulating five erogenous zones simultaneously; sixplay is attained only by a few; sevenplay has never been documented.

Flagass—someone whose country’s flag is sewn into the back of his pants.

Flatulent—the opposite of corpulent.

Gliborrhea—nonstop talking.

Gluve—a tight-fitting hand garment.

Groon—a humongous future husband.

Harmoronic—ignorance in unison.

Hushband—a married man who talks only softly.

Illhumorate—people who miss good jokes as well as bad.

Inastute—a polite euphemism for stupid, especially in political circumstances.


Inocearly—flu injections taken during the summertime.


Monogigamous—appearing in only one venue at a time.

Multiradical—an intellectual who has rethought many issues and areas differently.

Noneofyourbusiness—four words made more elegant than one, especially in New York City.

Orgyre—spinning sex.

Philaundering—rejecting Phillip only.

Polyartist—a creative person excelling at two or more nonrelated arts (writing and painting, say, music and architecture).

Propera—reflecting love for that theatrical musical genre.

Pussychew—an oral sexual act.

Reusnation—collective reincarnation.

SADS—a psychological condition caused by a lack of sex.

Scabdriver—an anti-union organizer.

Sotospeak—three words more elegant as one (likewise forgetaboutit).

Soxy—someone whose most attractive attribute is their feet.

Statusfying—successful social-climbing.

Stup—corrupted Yiddish for sexual intercourse.

Suckcess—immediate gains that are finally losses.

Taxhaust—going bankrupt from paying taxes.

Taxic—whatever high sales taxes makes unaffordable.

Thrillring—a sound that produces a sigh.

Youdell—a falsetto scream aimed at a single person.

Yout—please leave.

Zealousy—excessive envy.





Richard Kostelanetz is online at